Alzheimer or Dementia... Still Painful..

Two years ago my Granda started showing signs of something being wrong.. it was obvious something was wrong. It wasn't him forgetting where he placed his keys or someones name. He thought he had another home and when he WAS at home he believed that wasn't it and he would get very upset saying he wanted to go to HIS home. That this was Gran's home and she needed to choose.. We weren't certain exactly when he fell into this well of confusion but thinking back.. I begin to see a starting point. He use to say he sometimes thought someone was sneaking into the house and opening doors, moving things.. he felt like someone was in there with them. Obviously none of that was true.. but I see it for what it was now. I wish I had then and maybe he wouldn't have progressed so fast. Do I suffer guilt? Yes I do. I feel I should have seen the changes in him.. this is the man who raised me.. he is essentially my Da. It shouldn't have taken the slap in the face of his decline for me to see he was quietly suffering without knowing. As soon as I seen what was going on I stayed with them for 2 weeks got him in to a Dr who diagnosed him with Alzheimer. My Granda fought this diagnosis and still doesn't think their is anything wrong with him.. For about a year he did well on the medicines he was taking. The confusion over the 'houses' was gone.. He did start to misplace everything.. but I could live with this. It was so much easier to handle than seemingly losing Granda down the well of confusion. During that first year my Aunt was able to fly in from Boston and stay with them for a year. She left this past June. Since then Granda has declined so fast. My Granda is gone.. he is lost in his own world most of the time. He has now lost his drivers license.. I completely agree with the decision. But I see my Granda sitting there and he even looks different... I try to visit as often as possible... The girls can see the difference in him. He has been fighting with the Dr who diagnosed him so much about his diagnosis that I told him to get a second opinion from a neurologist.. which I thought he should have seen anyways. He has now been diagnosed with Dementia... but Dementia or Alzheimer they both cause pain.. they both make the sufferer lose ones self... they both make family member watch the afflicted disappear before our very eyes... Does this blog seem a bit selfish.. I guess it could be taken that way.. But as I sit here and type this I think about how he was as I grew up, how he was in the stories my Gran tells from their 67 YEARS of marriage.. I think about how he looked when he held my first baby.. and my second.. I think about so many things.. and I mourn him already a little bit because tho he is still here and he is still functioning he is a completely different person and it is so very very hard to get use to him. But one thing I do know... no matter who my Granda is.. I love him with everything in me and he will always be my Daddy.. Until next time..

This.. that.. and hmm

Well we got our first month of school out of the way. After several days of panic where we can't find our brush.. who stole my shoes.. and did I do my homework? We finally got settled into a system of Get up eat, turn TV's OFF and get dressed and ready for school. Come home do homework PUT THINGS AWAY!!! This is still being learned. I swear the oldest is rebelling. She doesn't want to do anything the easy way. We had our first parent teacher conferences last week. Oldest grades no surprises there A's. The youngest is always a surprise. She is really super smart but she has a challenge.. she is unable to stop talking for more that 2 seconds. I know its 2 seconds because I timed her. Even when you tell her you will duct tape her to the ceiling she HAS to finish what she is saying she can't HELP herself. SO this year is going to be a fun adventure of how to make her be quiet and pay attention. The birds are migrating for winter so I'm keeping an eye out for any new birds making their way to my feeders. I'm excited to get pictures of any newbies. Africa is going thru changes too right now they are going into spring and the rainy season will be starting soon. The grasses will be growing and the Imps will be lambing the wildebeest will have calves all over the plains. The Buffalo will all be calving at the same time. An abundance of babies. The cams will be full of babies in a few months so be sure to peek in an see them. PPO the Africam Potted Plant Owl (pictured above) is laying on two eggs right now due to hatch with in a week or so and the cheetah cubs are growing by leaps and bounds. Things happening and changing so fast. The South African birds will be migrating back like the woodland kingfisher. Will be great to see them again. The temps are getting cooler but they don't seem to stay that way for long here.. but I hold out hope that winter is coming and when it does BONFIRES!! I can't wait!! Roasting marshmallows, hotdogs and my brothers potato soup! yummmmm Lots of laughter and fun.. As long as the kids behave and keep the sticks to themselves.. we have had enough injuries already! Hmmm I wonder if I have rambled on enough. If not their is always tomorrow! So until next time..

Long Summer...

Wow has it been THAT long since I posted?! Well.. It has been a long summer full of very high temps, no rain, stuck in the house all day due to the heat and no where to go! For once this year we didn't have a trip planned. My Granda was diagnosed with Alzheimer Disease a year ago June and so we spent a lot of time in Oklahoma. BUT we did get one of our summer projects done despite the heat. In the early morning we washed one of our big rocks made sure we got all the moss and dirt scrubbed off the top. It has such a great shape. It didn't take long for it to dry but we let it dry for that day because once the sun came out it was unbearable! Temps stayed at about 112f most of the time during this time or better. The next morning after making sure it was still clean we got out our paints and counted off our squares for the checker board. Because it was such a lovely dark rock we chose bright colors. A bright pink and a bright blue and using sponge brushes we sponged circle 'squares' on our board. It looks so unique and lovely! The girls were so proud of themselves. We had gathered some flat stones and painted them accordingly but they just didn't look right. So we later went back to the store and searched for something that we could use for pieces for both boards when we get around to painting the backgammon board.. which honestly I will probably end up painting while they are in school. What I found are the glass accent rocks you find in the craft section. Here is our finished

board.. It was taken before we bought the glass stones. We may change yet again the game pieces. Trying to find the right pieces. but the board is awesome! We started on our cloth backgammon sets but are having to do some revisions. We have all the pieces cut out and just need to glue the pieces of cloth onto the felt and paint the dots in the dice. Also need to make the pouch for the button game pieces.. this is another part of the project I'm trying to figure out how to do so we wont have a lot of pieces every where. I am thinking about making a pouch attached to the back to hold the dice and the buttons. Here is a pic of the materials we have to use. I've assembled the pieces and have taken another picture so you can get an idea of what it will look like put together. Another problem I'm having is the glue makes
the material stiff which is something I was expecting. I'm hoping with use it will become more pliable. The colors and patterns are all chaotic :) big smile. My girls have a good eye for making the the mind work. They wanted clashing patterns and colors. They did a wonderful job. But even tho they clashed a bit they still went together real well.. at least to me who loves clashing colors and patterns so this may be my chaotic mind loving it!

The buttons may get replaces at some point but they work for now. They are cheap game pieces and easily replaced if lost. But they have such cute buttons out that I can't help but want to buy butterflies or dragonflies. Its not perfect cuts which adds to its charm and the girls are excited to get them done. The same concept will be done with the checker boards. But I think,  like I did with the out side board, we will make mismatched 'squares'. I like the idea of a bunch of odd ball circles as our checker board 'squares'. And we may use pieces of cloth as the game pieces..We can glue together two pieces of cloth and make one side the 'king'. Ha as you can see the checker board is still in thought process after my fail attempt at the backgammon board. But we will not give up! They make such charming sets. Now as to the rest of the summer. The girls and I have decided to do some bird watching. We have been surprised at how much we LOVE this activity! I have made contact with some bird watchers in our area and I think we may be going on a birders tour soon. We have enjoyed learning what birds are in our own back yard. This includes visually seeing the birds and identifying them and hearing the calls and identifying them. We set up some feeders so we can take pictures of the various birds, but I will save that for the next blog. SO until next time!

Copper Sun by Sharon Draper

This month my book club read Copper Sun. An amazing story about a girl in Africa who had never laid eyes on a white person until the day they came into her village and killed her entire family and took her and the other young and healthy men and women in her village away in irons. Marched them to the coast where they were branded like cattle sold to slavers and shipped to the colonies. This girl Amari has to learn how to be a slave and what that word even means. Her body is no longer her own, and at the age of 15 she is abused by many. This story should be read by everyone. It gives an amazing depiction of one girls life from freedom to captivity and slavery to her escape and the trials she must face even seeking the freedom she craves. Sharon Draper put this story together so well.. the emotions, how the people of that time Black and White, felt. The horrors of what slaves went through and the sadness they endured. And not only did she bring us into the life of a slave she also gave us an education on indentured servitude. Amari was sold to a rich plantation owner who also that day bought an indentured servant about her age. This girl sold her services to pay off her families debt. Most people didn't know anything about indentured servants. They were just as abused as the slaves only thing is that they could become part of society after a time because they were white. But the indentured servants indenture could be sold to anyone. Essentially if they made their masters angry the master could sell them to whore houses or other horrible sickening lives. I didn't give many details about this book on purpose. I want people to read it. It was an unbelievably fast read. I hated putting it down. The story was fast paced, it never bogged down. This was not a book I would pick up on my own. But I'm so glad I read it and recommend it for ages 16 and older. Mostly giving this age rating because Amari is abused, severely beaten, and other emotionally gut wrenching, but necessary scenes that are needed to tell this story and for it to have the impact it was meant to have. If you have read it I would love to hear your comments and if you haven't you really should then let me know what you thought. Until next time..

Schools Out For Summer!!

This year will be the first summer holiday for my youngest daughter. I don't know if she is really looking forward to it or is excited about not having to go back to school or is true to form...just goes with it. My oldest is an old pro at summer and really enjoys the lazy days.. as long as she has a book (big glowing smile!). So for this summers activities I have planned weekly Library trips and some crafts. I decided my oldest was old enough to read the Twilight series much to her excitement so she is in the process of devouring number 1. My youngest is happy to read her books to her 'class' of stuffed toys because she plans on being a teacher like Mrs. Taylor. So this weeks library visit is out of the way. As for all the crafts planned for this summer most are cheap (my fave!) and relatively easy and because they love boardgames we are going to make some! Every year we paint rocks.. we have zillions of them and the painted rocks look pretty in the flower beds. SO this year I decided instead of slopping paint on them like they have been in the past the girls will have a couple of projects. I found 2 large mostly flat rocks that they are going to pain a Checker board on (with a little help from masking tape and me) and on the second large rock they are going to paint a Backgammon board (again masking tape). They have to figure out what colors they want to paint the two sides then how to mix the paints. Then they have to find 30 small rocks for the game pieces. I'm going to be a bit specific about this since they are going to be for both boards. I want the game pieces to be flat rocks so they can paint them the colors they want them to be but on one side paint a gold crown for when a checker has been Kinged. Now they will have an outdoor checker set and backgammon set to play. We also drive a lot in the summer to Oklahoma and back. So I thought it would be fun if they made their own roll up checker sets and backgammon sets and maybe become really creative and make a chutes and ladders sets (if you hadn't noticed they like checkers and backgammon). to make these I thought we would buy felt in the colors they choose for squares and the triangles of the checker and backgammon boards, and buy pretty material they choose to glue it to (this may actually have to be sewn.. I will see) And they can pick the color/style of buttons for their game pieces. Because we are going to use felt I can buy Velcro to help the pieces hold on to it, so I need to make sure I have some hot glue for my gun to glue that on. The Chutes and ladders one will take some extra thought but think a fun print with red felt chutes and gold felt ladders would work. I can make little pouches for all the pieces to go in with a drawstring top that they can leave in the game and just roll the whole thing up and tie closed. I haven't planned anything else until all these are done! I'm really hoping they work out it sounds like so much fun to do and the girls are really excited. Keeping them busy, active and creative is really important! If they finish we may try recreating or making up other boardgames. Pictures etc to come of these projects. Wish us luck! If you have any summer projects please share! Until next time...

A Post About Nothing!

I don't have anything life altering or deep to post.. basically right this minute I'm waiting for the dryer to ding so I can hang up jeans before I go to bed. I just watched the Boston Bruins lose a chance at the Stanely Cup and the Washington Capitals (ugh) move up. I am also trying to remember what else I was suppose to do before I finally drag myself into bed and hope I finally get some sleep. HA! I'm sure it will come to me! At church tonight my Preacher said his mom always told him a clear conscience was the best sleep aid.. so now I sit here and think.. do I have a clear conscience? and If not what do I feel bad about.. For the life of me I can't think of anything I may have done or said to cause me to have insomnia so much. I normally always enjoy going to church. Just being inside makes me feel good and when my Preacher gives his sermon it nearly always feels like God wanted him to talk to me.. Bro. Patrick my Preacher does say when a sermon moves you and you say I wish so and so was here to hear that! .. It would be great if they were but those who hear it are the ones who needed to hear it.. I know he says it better but that's basically it. I've thought that many times about a wonderful, deep sermon.. how I wish so and so was here for that.. but then remember what he says and start to think what did I need out of that.. I usually get a good lesson just thinking that over.. My nerdy tendencies are at work in church.. I take notes while he preaches.. I write down all the verses we need to look at, I write down important points he is trying to say... geeky I know! I have started walking with my friends mom every morning, and I love it. We walk as fast as we can for about 30 minutes. Its great exercise and I get to spend time with a friend. I also just started belly dance classes! All I need to say is OUCH.. stomach and back muscles are sore! but again it is great! I am hoping my uncoordinated self can figure out where all my body parts are suppose to be eventually. My oldest daughter is working on 3 writing projects for end of year (lazy teachers don't want to mess with teaching anymore this year) grades.. We have to make a solar system with an asteroid belt, a poster of Earth with facts and why beings would want to live here (sigh) and one on Mars.. Surely I'm not the only parent that sees lazy teachers getting out of teaching by putting all their grade in these projects. Good thing my baby is smart, creative and loves to write (don't know where she got that!). She will be done and turned in on time. There is the dryer dinging and time for me to put jeans up.. then bed! Hopefully for a good nights sleep. One last thought.. If you have never had South African Koeksisters your missing out.. easy to make and soooo yum... worth the little effort you have to put in.. Melktert is just as yum.. its a custard type dessert with cinnamon...my next SA try will be Bobotie.. and Vetkoek.. makes my stomach growl just thinking about it. Until next time..

Life a Soap Opera?

Some days it seems the things that goes on just piles on and it should read like a Soap Opera. Some moments are less believable than others but no less real.. and you just think really?! The only thing missing is your little sister coming into the room saying she is pregnant with your husbands twin brothers love child but it could also be your husbands.. but that's only if he was the mysterious man who she met at the bar.. HA some of those scripts are hilarious.. they should just follow real people around and they would get some great stories! Brothers who swap wives every 10 years.. yep I have seen that... have to say thank heavens I'm not related to them but my half brother is.. (soap opera!) Oh my I could keep going and really clean out closets.. but then I wouldn't be a bit of a mystery.. big laugh... I know some who LOVE when their life is chaotic and drama ridden and thrive on the attention.. and others like me who just want to be left in peace and never have drama of any kind.. I know I like to keep my head in the sand.. keeps the voices down that way... and I can pretend I'm sane a bit longer. And then their are those rare ones who don't like drama but seem always to be having some.. I have to question do they enjoy it a little to have so much of it... but who honestly knows. I bet Police officers and bar tenders could really tell some stories... But I have always wondered where did all this stupid stuff come from in Soap Operas? The magic and ghosts... all the weird stuff.. I thought Soaps were suppose to be a reflection of true life.. if true life was rich women being total witches (the non magical kind) and the men being devious, dying, coming back and mysteriously having a twin.. I will admit I don't watch Soaps.. blasphemy I know.. I learn about them thru other people and commercials.. but I do remember them from when I was a little girl and my Grandmother watched them all.. no one dared touch the aluminum covered rabbit ears and try to switch channels until her soaps were over! I am sitting here watching hockey as I type this.. shows how good the game is (not) but this was just a way to make myself smile tho it is all true. Whether it does you or not.. can't say I'm too fashed about...big smile... but hope you got a chuckle out of something I wrote. So until my next chaotic ramblings.. or another terrible hockey game.....