Death of the Faceless

      Two weeks ago this Wednesday a 14yr old boy in my daughters Middle School attempted to commit suicide by hanging himself in the boys bathroom at the Middle School. He later died from his self inflicted injuries that Friday and was put to rest this past Friday. To my knowledge I have never seen this boy before, I have never spoke to him.. I don't know his little sister or his brother. His death shocked our community and put a spotlight on our schools and the big question of 'Was it bullying?' Some say yes, some say NO (the school mostly) some have even stated it was the worse case of bullying they had ever seen.. who to believe.. It obviously needs to be fixed. This boy's death has affected me in many ways.. anger at people who didn't do anything when they noticed something wasn't right, anger ,anger, anger.. The thought that this boy was so hurt and disheartened and beaten down in spirit that he would rather die than face the rest of his life has bothered me and I hope many many others here. I mourn his passing without having known him. When I passed the church the day of his funeral I seen all those cars there and had to fight that anger again.. all those people are there now when he is gone but where were they when he needed them to help him.. at that age to ask for help from an adult is almost impossible.. the adults in the kids lives have the responsibility to know when something isn't right... and the kids friends who he CAN confide in have the responsibility to take real concerns to an adult. I know these kids are great actors.. but even the best actors can't keep up a performance 24/7.. their is always a tell.
    Yesterday I found out Iris had taken her own life as well Jan. 5th on her daughters birthday who would have been 16 this year. I have never met Iris, I have never verbally talked to her. She was a chatter on Africam and later on NatureTalk. I had chatted with Iris for at least a year. Knew about some of her life and a little of what happened to her daughter. She posted poems, pictures, etc.. of her life in Norway. Her life was isolated and not many neighbors. Town was a good journey from home. Iris would have been 33 this year.. just a year and a half older than me. She lost her daughter when she was 5yrs old and never got over her death. Iris's friend Silje says she feels this is what made her take her life.. This kind woman was alone and in mourning for not only her baby.. which is probably the worst pain a person can go thru emotionally, she is mourning her parents.. she is alone and turns to a chatroom for company. We gave her something she couldn't have otherwise.. friendship with faceless people. I was happy to give that to her, she was always very nice and had a lot of stories.. some exaggerated.. but who cared.. it was a good story. She is going to be missed on chat so very much by many of us at Africam and Naturetalk.
   Two faceless people, two suicides, two very very different stories. These two separate acts of desperation to be free and seek oblivion are hard for many to understand.. some say they are weak.. some say stupid.. I say they were afraid to seek help they wasn't sure or they didn't think was there.. they were afraid to take anymore chances to reach out and find help or a listening heart. And they were tired, weary of the pains, pressures, and hurts put on them by others.. Kindness is a gift we should be sharing.. no matter how dreadful some people seem, no matter what station they have in life, no matter their natures.. God was kind and loving to everyone he met.. those that were hated by others.. adulterers.. sinners.. EVERYONE... so how hard can it be to be kind and loving.. you NEVER know the impact a simple kindness can be for a soul seeking the oblivion of death. One loving gesture or one simple kindness can bring a person back from the brink.. Instead of saying something scathing or cruel because you feel they don't deserve anything else.. a smile, a God Bless you, or reaching out and asking a perfect stranger who is hurting.. 'Are you OK?' 'Do you need help?' and sometimes telling them they are not alone will help them fight for their lives. Kindness is God's gift to man if we use it we can help save lives of those who are lost in the dark clouds of their minds.. Help bring them back instead of making the hurts worse! You NEVER know what a person is TRULY going thru and let the first man without sin cast the first stone...  These two people were both faceless to me.. one I didn't know at all, the other I knew from a chatroom.. They are both gone because they couldn't stand to face another day in their lives. Look at your loved ones today and make sure they are truly OK... Make sure you hadn't missed a cry for help. I know I have been with my family.  Until next time.....