A Post About Nothing!

I don't have anything life altering or deep to post.. basically right this minute I'm waiting for the dryer to ding so I can hang up jeans before I go to bed. I just watched the Boston Bruins lose a chance at the Stanely Cup and the Washington Capitals (ugh) move up. I am also trying to remember what else I was suppose to do before I finally drag myself into bed and hope I finally get some sleep. HA! I'm sure it will come to me! At church tonight my Preacher said his mom always told him a clear conscience was the best sleep aid.. so now I sit here and think.. do I have a clear conscience? and If not what do I feel bad about.. For the life of me I can't think of anything I may have done or said to cause me to have insomnia so much. I normally always enjoy going to church. Just being inside makes me feel good and when my Preacher gives his sermon it nearly always feels like God wanted him to talk to me.. Bro. Patrick my Preacher does say when a sermon moves you and you say I wish so and so was here to hear that! .. It would be great if they were but those who hear it are the ones who needed to hear it.. I know he says it better but that's basically it. I've thought that many times about a wonderful, deep sermon.. how I wish so and so was here for that.. but then remember what he says and start to think what did I need out of that.. I usually get a good lesson just thinking that over.. My nerdy tendencies are at work in church.. I take notes while he preaches.. I write down all the verses we need to look at, I write down important points he is trying to say... geeky I know! I have started walking with my friends mom every morning, and I love it. We walk as fast as we can for about 30 minutes. Its great exercise and I get to spend time with a friend. I also just started belly dance classes! All I need to say is OUCH.. stomach and back muscles are sore! but again it is great! I am hoping my uncoordinated self can figure out where all my body parts are suppose to be eventually. My oldest daughter is working on 3 writing projects for end of year (lazy teachers don't want to mess with teaching anymore this year) grades.. We have to make a solar system with an asteroid belt, a poster of Earth with facts and why beings would want to live here (sigh) and one on Mars.. Surely I'm not the only parent that sees lazy teachers getting out of teaching by putting all their grade in these projects. Good thing my baby is smart, creative and loves to write (don't know where she got that!). She will be done and turned in on time. There is the dryer dinging and time for me to put jeans up.. then bed! Hopefully for a good nights sleep. One last thought.. If you have never had South African Koeksisters your missing out.. easy to make and soooo yum... worth the little effort you have to put in.. Melktert is just as yum.. its a custard type dessert with cinnamon...my next SA try will be Bobotie.. and Vetkoek.. makes my stomach growl just thinking about it. Until next time..

Life a Soap Opera?

Some days it seems the things that goes on just piles on and it should read like a Soap Opera. Some moments are less believable than others but no less real.. and you just think really?! The only thing missing is your little sister coming into the room saying she is pregnant with your husbands twin brothers love child but it could also be your husbands.. but that's only if he was the mysterious man who she met at the bar.. HA some of those scripts are hilarious.. they should just follow real people around and they would get some great stories! Brothers who swap wives every 10 years.. yep I have seen that... have to say thank heavens I'm not related to them but my half brother is.. (soap opera!) Oh my I could keep going and really clean out closets.. but then I wouldn't be a bit of a mystery.. big laugh... I know some who LOVE when their life is chaotic and drama ridden and thrive on the attention.. and others like me who just want to be left in peace and never have drama of any kind.. I know I like to keep my head in the sand.. keeps the voices down that way... and I can pretend I'm sane a bit longer. And then their are those rare ones who don't like drama but seem always to be having some.. I have to question do they enjoy it a little to have so much of it... but who honestly knows. I bet Police officers and bar tenders could really tell some stories... But I have always wondered where did all this stupid stuff come from in Soap Operas? The magic and ghosts... all the weird stuff.. I thought Soaps were suppose to be a reflection of true life.. if true life was rich women being total witches (the non magical kind) and the men being devious, dying, coming back and mysteriously having a twin.. I will admit I don't watch Soaps.. blasphemy I know.. I learn about them thru other people and commercials.. but I do remember them from when I was a little girl and my Grandmother watched them all.. no one dared touch the aluminum covered rabbit ears and try to switch channels until her soaps were over! I am sitting here watching hockey as I type this.. shows how good the game is (not) but this was just a way to make myself smile tho it is all true. Whether it does you or not.. can't say I'm too fashed about...big smile... but hope you got a chuckle out of something I wrote. So until my next chaotic ramblings.. or another terrible hockey game.....

Death of the Faceless

      Two weeks ago this Wednesday a 14yr old boy in my daughters Middle School attempted to commit suicide by hanging himself in the boys bathroom at the Middle School. He later died from his self inflicted injuries that Friday and was put to rest this past Friday. To my knowledge I have never seen this boy before, I have never spoke to him.. I don't know his little sister or his brother. His death shocked our community and put a spotlight on our schools and the big question of 'Was it bullying?' Some say yes, some say NO (the school mostly) some have even stated it was the worse case of bullying they had ever seen.. who to believe.. It obviously needs to be fixed. This boy's death has affected me in many ways.. anger at people who didn't do anything when they noticed something wasn't right, anger ,anger, anger.. The thought that this boy was so hurt and disheartened and beaten down in spirit that he would rather die than face the rest of his life has bothered me and I hope many many others here. I mourn his passing without having known him. When I passed the church the day of his funeral I seen all those cars there and had to fight that anger again.. all those people are there now when he is gone but where were they when he needed them to help him.. at that age to ask for help from an adult is almost impossible.. the adults in the kids lives have the responsibility to know when something isn't right... and the kids friends who he CAN confide in have the responsibility to take real concerns to an adult. I know these kids are great actors.. but even the best actors can't keep up a performance 24/7.. their is always a tell.
    Yesterday I found out Iris had taken her own life as well Jan. 5th on her daughters birthday who would have been 16 this year. I have never met Iris, I have never verbally talked to her. She was a chatter on Africam and later on NatureTalk. I had chatted with Iris for at least a year. Knew about some of her life and a little of what happened to her daughter. She posted poems, pictures, etc.. of her life in Norway. Her life was isolated and not many neighbors. Town was a good journey from home. Iris would have been 33 this year.. just a year and a half older than me. She lost her daughter when she was 5yrs old and never got over her death. Iris's friend Silje says she feels this is what made her take her life.. This kind woman was alone and in mourning for not only her baby.. which is probably the worst pain a person can go thru emotionally, she is mourning her parents.. she is alone and turns to a chatroom for company. We gave her something she couldn't have otherwise.. friendship with faceless people. I was happy to give that to her, she was always very nice and had a lot of stories.. some exaggerated.. but who cared.. it was a good story. She is going to be missed on chat so very much by many of us at Africam and Naturetalk.
   Two faceless people, two suicides, two very very different stories. These two separate acts of desperation to be free and seek oblivion are hard for many to understand.. some say they are weak.. some say stupid.. I say they were afraid to seek help they wasn't sure or they didn't think was there.. they were afraid to take anymore chances to reach out and find help or a listening heart. And they were tired, weary of the pains, pressures, and hurts put on them by others.. Kindness is a gift we should be sharing.. no matter how dreadful some people seem, no matter what station they have in life, no matter their natures.. God was kind and loving to everyone he met.. those that were hated by others.. adulterers.. sinners.. EVERYONE... so how hard can it be to be kind and loving.. you NEVER know the impact a simple kindness can be for a soul seeking the oblivion of death. One loving gesture or one simple kindness can bring a person back from the brink.. Instead of saying something scathing or cruel because you feel they don't deserve anything else.. a smile, a God Bless you, or reaching out and asking a perfect stranger who is hurting.. 'Are you OK?' 'Do you need help?' and sometimes telling them they are not alone will help them fight for their lives. Kindness is God's gift to man if we use it we can help save lives of those who are lost in the dark clouds of their minds.. Help bring them back instead of making the hurts worse! You NEVER know what a person is TRULY going thru and let the first man without sin cast the first stone...  These two people were both faceless to me.. one I didn't know at all, the other I knew from a chatroom.. They are both gone because they couldn't stand to face another day in their lives. Look at your loved ones today and make sure they are truly OK... Make sure you hadn't missed a cry for help. I know I have been with my family.  Until next time.....